Since the start of this year, I knew I wanted to start gaining proficiency in public speaking. I wrote on my planner:
Little did I know that public speaking is more than just a skill, it’s a craft. A craft that’s unique to each person. A style, art, performance, whatever you call it. It’s a continuous growth process. A craft is something that you can only get better at. Always refining, learning, improving, practicing… Whereas a skill is something that is just attained. Once there, you’re just there.
The public speaking craft takes time to develop. It has been 7 months since I joined a toastmasters’ club, and I’ve only very recently started to enjoy it. And someone (a more experience speaker whom I really respect in the club) in the audience felt it during one of my speeches and he came up to me and said, “Congratulations! Welcome to the speaking world!”
I guess it’s time for me to share some tips as a beginner speaker (since I’ve just been welcomed to the speaking world LOL). So here are some anchors to have as a beginner speaker just starting out on this public speaking journey:
Just keep practising
The more you avoid speaking, the better you will be at it. The more you get on stage, the better you will be at it. Action leads to practice. Practice leads to habit. Habit leads to mastery. It’s up to you to decide if you’ll be a master of fear or master of self-confidence.
Oprah Winfrey, Tony Robbins, Nick Vujicic — they certainly did not become great at public speaking overnight. It took consistent hours daily and weekly, years after years, hours after hours, to reach the level of confidence and skills that they have.
Start small.
Ten people as your audience or even just a two minutes speech. I started with a two minutes table topics speech and had an audience of about fifteen. I spoke for just a twenty seconds — in broken parts. And for the most part, I was frozen and could not mutter a word. A kind person (a very experienced speaker) in the audience had to prompt me with a question to get me out of my frozen state, but still, I could not continue. What an experience that was!
However, it made me realise that things can only get better from there. That was the day I decided to join the toastmasters’ club and here I am 7 months later — completed four 7 minutes prepared speeches, three 2 minutes table topic speeches and two times host of the 3 hours meeting.
Show up for yourself.
Set aside time to write your speech, practise content delivery and go all out on your speech day! Don’t wait for the ‘right time’, ‘right mood’, ‘right day’ or ‘right weather’ to do it. It’s about showing up for yourself even on days you don’t feel like it. Discipline > Willpower. It’s not about how hard you push yourself, but rather, how consistent you push yourself.
Don’t expect perfection.
It’s only going to stop you from making progress. As a beginner (or even as a professional/experienced speaker), the truth is, you will make mistakes. It’s not about perfecting a speech, but rather finding creative ways to gracefully move on from a mistake. Find more reasons and easier conditions to celebrate rather than critique yourself. Such as “I managed to have eye contact with a person in the audience today!”, “I showed up and delivered my 5 minutes speech!”, “I spoke clearer today!”, “I apologised less during my speech!”.
Why the last point is because I had a habit of saying “sorry” whenever I realised I made a mistake on stage — when I missed a part of my speech, stuttered etc. In my first speech, I apologised a good 5 to 10 times. That number only slowly reduced to zero in my 3rd speech! Rather than apologising, I paused for a moment — though had a little awkward silence but still better than apologising — and got back on track.
Just keep observing how other speakers speak
Part of the journey involves getting as many references as possible for inspiration and ideas. The possible variety in styles, delivery and language. As a beginner, it will open up your eyes and you’ll start to realise the possibility of things — the beauty of public speaking. For example, you’ve only been exposed to presentation style speaking at work or school. But after listening to a speech full of energy, humour, fun, and at the same time, full of emotional and touching moments, you’ll realise other possibilities. A speech doesn’t have to be mundane, in fact, it shouldn’t be at all. Once you get all these references, keep them handy and use them in your next speech!
Take note of the speaker’s body language — hand gestures, use of the stage and expressions. How did you feel?
Observing does not just involve your eyes. Listen to their use of language, pauses, speed of delivery, tonality, volume, emotions… How did you feel?
Notice how I’ve asked, “how did you feel?” Because for the most part of public speaking, it involves engaging the audience emotionally. The more you observe speeches, you’ll start to realise the speeches that you remember best are the ones which you had the most emotions. And not the ones with the best content (but still very important).
Find role models who you can follow. Your role model could be someone who has a speaking style that you’re attracted to. Or like me, for now (as a beginner) everyone is my role model as I have so much I’ve yet to learn! Plus, I have yet to find my own style so I’m just experimenting with whatever references I have.
Just keep developing your word bank
“What’s a word bank?”, you might ask. Just like an actual bank, you accumulate savings regularly into your bank. Whenever you need some cash, you just draw it out from your bank.
Same for a word bank. You save good phrases and words and slowly accumulate them. Whenever you need it, such as when you’re crafting a speech, you can always just have a look at your word bank and draw something out from it.
I recommend it to be digital. But you can always have some paper and pen around you to just scribble words down whenever you listen to a speech. And then transfer them digitally. So that you can always organise it, move words here and there, add words, group words of similar meaning or even remove words. And most importantly, have access to it anywhere and any time!
[I’m a little slow on this as I’ve yet to create a system that effectively uses it. Now I know what to work on…]
Just keep taking notes
Attend trainers’ workshops, trainings, sharing etc. It’s when you actually gain valuable skills and techniques, shared generously by experienced speakers! Take all the opportunities you have to learn from speakers from different backgrounds, perspectives and speaking styles.
Listen attentively to any speaker’s content and jot down valuable content. You’ll learn at least one thing from him/her. Maybe it’s a new idea or concept that you’ve never heard before — the iceberg theory? Maybe it’s a shared experience which can lead you and the speaker into a deeper conversation?
Bring your notepad, pens, paper, tablet and whatever you need to save as many pointers as possible! Scribble them down first, then think about organising them later.
Just keep asking questions
Be genuinely interested in others. It’s the little things that count — remembering their names and little details of their stories in a previous conversation, greeting them with enthusiasm. How can anyone not like you for that? It’s the extra time and effort you put into doing things for others and in conversations that people will appreciate you for. And, how can anyone not want to help you for that?
Be specific with your questions. General questions give general guides. Specific questions give specific guides. With specificity, you’ll be able to find your own answer.
Ask in the ‘you’ perspective. Listen to their stories. Instead of ,”How can I memorise my speech better?”, ask this: “You have such a natural flow in your speech, how do you normally memorise it?”
Don’t expect a certain answer. Be grateful for whatever anyone has willingly shared with you. Sometimes when we ask a more experienced speaker a question, we expect them to give the ANSWER to our troubles, difficulties or challenges. In truth, a reply or sharing is good enough to see a slightly different perspective. A step towards finding our OWN answer.
You can have a mentor, someone who you can always turn to for questions. But having a mentor is a privilege. Not all of us, beginners, are lucky enough to have an experienced mentor who can guide us through and show us a right path which he/she has treaded on. To say the truth, as a beginner, we don’t have access to the ‘shortcut’ yet. But that shouldn’t stop us from trying to find it! Keep walking on the public speaking path, who knows, you may find a great mentor one day!
Just keep cringing at yourself
Watch your own speech. Take a video of yourself or if you’re fortunate enough to have someone who is willing to record it for you, watch and sit through the whole video. I know it’s hard — just 10 seconds and you’ll feel like stopping the video. Trust me, finish it.
This is the only way to truly realise your quirks or bad habits and to take active steps to reduce and eventually remove them from your speech. Nothing beats having to realise it yourself. Yes, it’s possible that people in your audience may tell you that you keep pacing back and forth in your speech. But it will hit you more deeply when you watch it for yourself and cringe at it. And that will more likely motivate you to take action to improve in your next speech.
How to get started
Join a toastmasters’ club
There are over 14,700 clubs in 144 countries, with about 280,000 members. You can do a quick google search for the nearest club meeting and attend it as a guest. Go for some ‘club hopping’ and see which club suits you best. Guest fee (some free!) and membership price vary for each club, so do check the prices and decide for yourself!
For me, I enjoyed my very first club meeting as a guest (it was free!) as I fell in love with the energy and people. I didn’t think much and joined as a member right after that meeting.
Perform anything in front of an audience
Do you have a talent? Or an interest? Musical skill? Singing ability? Magic? Dance? Or any ability to perform to keep an audience engaged?
For any beginner who don’t know where to start, go for open mics. It’s a great opportunity to unleash your potential in a casual, fun and open space, where mistakes are very tolerable. It’s where you can be relaxed and perform, and build connections with other performers — seasoned or aspiring.
If you already have an ability (eg self-taught pianist), all the more it is easier for you to get out and showcase that skill! To boost your confidence and be comfortable to have 20 pairs of eyes staring at you. If you don’t have yet any performing ability, though it may seem harder, it’s not impossible to do it. Who knows, you may pick up a guitar and start performing in no time!
Host a party/event
Being a host or emcee is a great chance to increase your confidence, reduce your stage fright, trains your impromptu-ness and ability to take your mistakes less seriously.
For a start, go for something voluntary rather than paid. Have a feel of what it’s like and what to expect. Maybe the host for your friend’s birthday party? A kid’s party? Or a charity event?
Ending words
Everyone starts somewhere. To reach somewhere high, to be the best, it will take time, effort, leaps and falls. But don’t obsessively keep your eye on the destination (”I want to be the best!”) that you forget to enjoy the process.
Public speaking is a craft that’s unique to each person. And only when you learn to enjoy the process that you’ll allow this craft to be molded into you.
Go slow. Enjoy the process. Trust the process.