My dream of wanting to become a veterinarian began as early as 8 years of age. My dream became a goal. To become a vet student. Which guided me in school, to love sciences and mathematics. My goal became my passion. Worked as a veterinary nurse and learnt the beauty of the job. My passion became my purpose. A commitment to lovingly ensure the health and well-being of animals through veterinary medicine and maintain a healthy and balanced human-animal bond.

I’ve yet to find better and more concise words to describe my purpose, hence the lengthy purpose statement. HAHA.

I anticipate this post is going to be really lengthy so brace yourselves! Or just scroll to the part you are more interested to read about (divided into headings).

How my dream started

Growing up, most of us either come up with bizarre dream careers or the ones our parents tell us about — doctors, lawyers, engineer (for the most part may be me being asian too). The idea of having the ability to save lives just sparked something in me. In primary 1 (7 years old), I remembered dressing up as a human surgeon for the annual Career Day held in school. Typical, I agree.

Nonetheless, my parents’ love for animals was infectious. They would bring my sisters and I to farms, zoos, bird park, just to interact and see a myriad of animal species. I was always amazed with their variety and drawn to their behaviours. My dad would bring home random animals he rescued on the streets for me to help nurse them back to health. He made my little child mind believe in my ability to ease the suffering of the vulnerable, voiceless and innocent.

At that point, I didn’t know that there was such a career as a veterinarian. On Career Day, in primary 2 (8 years old), I just found a white coat-like outfit in my mum’s closet and a dog soft toy and BOOM — animal doctor. Only later on did I realise that there was such a career as a veterinarian.

Dream becoming a goal

My first sparks

If I remembered correctly, it was my school teacher who enlightened me that I was dressed as a veterinarian. My dream became a possibility. From that day on, I knew the goal I wanted to work towards. My first spark.

When I first touched on sciences in primary 3 (9 years old), I was deeply intrigued with how omnipresent science is around us. Something sparked in me to believe that science is essential to master in order to treat and ease the suffering of animals. My second spark. Furthermore, I was naturally drawn to mathematics too. Solving questions after questions was motivating in itself. I knew mathematics was greatly linked to sciences in many ways. My third spark.

My parent’s unique parenting style

My parents never place any pressure on my sisters and I in terms of academics, at least that’s what I felt and still feel. Of course, they’ll have minimum expectations like not being a nuisance in school, respecting teachers and friends and honesty. But it was never, “You’re getting straight As, if not you’re not coming home.” Instead, it was, “As long as you’re not in the last place at school, you’re good. Even if you’re last, doing your best is what matters.”

I’ve come to really appreciate this. This supportive environment allowed me to freely set my own goals and work towards them myself, finding different ways to reach it. Knowing that becoming a veterinarian requires good grades, one of my goals was to do well in PSLE. It’s a annual national examination taken at the end of students’ final year (primary 6), of primary school in Singapore. Wanting to prove to myself and others that I was capable to be a good veterinarian. (of course, this was a low level way of thinking, as my dream have only started to become a goal and not yet a purpose)

Studying hard started early (primary school)

Instead of wanting to get more toys or game sets, I asked for more assessment books and practice papers. Which I have to say, I am very fortunate and thankful that my parents were able to afford them. Allowing studying a lot easier. Nearing PSLE (primary 6), when my friends asked me out to play, I rejected. Instead, I spent hours in the school library alone to complete assessment books and practice papers.

My inner voice just told me that if I don’t have the discipline now, how can I ever have the discipline to sustain years of studying as a vet student and veterinarian. True to a certain extent — discipline is one thing. Loving what I study is another. Loving what I do is yet another. And finally, having a purpose is the most crucial (only realising it years later — explained at the end!).

Developing soft skills (secondary school)

As I came nearer and nearer to possibly achieving my goal of becoming a vet student, I read up more on what it actually takes to become one. That’s when I came across the importance of developing soft skills — leadership, communication, empathy, perseverance. And the best way to grow in this aspect (as a student) is by being actively involved in school activities. I’m deeply grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given in school.

Joining a Co-Curricular Activity (CCA) in secondary school was mandatory in all Singapore’s secondary schools (very thankful for Singapore’s government for this rule). Decided to continue with basketball as my CCA. Did it since primary 3 but it was more so for exercise and weight loss — yes, I was a chubby girl then. This time, my purpose was more deliberate.

Basketball shaping my life

Tough and intense basketball training strengthened my perseverance. Being vice-captain and, then later on, captain of the team, shaped my leadership and communication skills. Competing in games grew our camaraderie and teamwork. Overall, just being actively involved in this sport grew other indispensable values such as empathy, respect, humility and compassion.

Deciding early to enter polytechnic

With my eyes on the goal, studying hard and achieving academically came naturally (of course, with some manageable struggles). I aimed to do well in school so that I could enter veterinary bioscience or veterinary technology in Ngee Ann Polytechnic and Temasek Polytechnic respectively. In which they were quite competitive courses to enter, considering they were the only 2 animal-related courses available in Singapore (at that point in time — now having the Concurrent Degree Programme NUS BSc (Hons) in Life Sciences with The University of Melbourne Doctor of Veterinary Medicine)

I made it really clear to my parents and teachers that I will graduate secondary school and go to polytechnic for a veterinary related diploma. As I wanted to learn about animals as soon as I can. They were supportive. But…

Struggled academically (junior college)

I chose junior college over polytechnic. Entering junior college and taking A levels was never part of my plan. But things changed right after I received my O level results. (I’ll explain it in my next post!)

Junior college was a short but gruelling 1.5 years of intense studying and trying to keep up with my head above water. Outside of academics, I was quite a happy-go-lucky person in my CCA (basketball) and taking up a lot of volunteering opportunities. At least that’s what I try to be. I was aways looking forward to these experiences. A part of the reason would be a form of escape from studying but a huge part was the feeling of contribution. But when it came to sitting down to study, I always struggled throughout this 1.5 years. I wasn’t as focused and optimistic as I should be. Studying felt like a chore.

My mind was not prepared

For years (throughout my 4 years in secondary school), I’ve always imagined myself to be studying about veterinary medicine and being intrigued from learning about the disease processes, diagnosis, treatment plans, aftercare and being hands on, working with a variety of animals, during practical sessions etc. But my mind was kind of let down with having to study about things not related to animals at all…

In short, A levels was basically O levels again but 10X tougher in terms of breath and depth of content I needed to cramp into my brain. I was failing or attaining only sub-par results in most of my subjects — Us (fail), Es, Ds.

With immense stress, I was breaking down inside and out. Insomnia (despite lying in bed for 6-8 hours, I was only able to catch 2-3 hours of sleep each night for months on end), heart palpitations, emotional breakdowns was a commonplace. To the point I even feared taking examinations and skipped a couple. By A levels, I had never felt more unprepared for any national examination I’ve ever taken.

Goal becoming a passion

After A levels

Applied to UK veterinary schools

I prepared (personal statement etc) and submitted my UK vet school application while preparing for my A levels. December 2019, right when A levels was over, I was back in the library preparing for my veterinary school interviews (as seen in the pictures HAHA).

So yes, I started with applying to UK veterinary schools. I was offered a place at the University of Glasgow and RVC. Although for RVC, I was on their waiting list but eventually given a place. However, I had to turn down their offers as I could not afford the half a million dollars education there as an international student.

You may ask then, why did I even apply in the first place? The plan was to get into a UK vet school with the NParks scholarship — the ONLY fully funded scholarship (awarded to 1-3 students per year) available in Singapore for students in environment, plant and animal-related courses. But did not get it due to the intense competition (veterinary medicine being one of the many courses qualified to get the scholarship) and less than ideal grades for my A levels.

Gap year starts

After not being offered a scholarship and having to reject the UK veterinary school’s offers, I decided to take a (yes, just one) gap year. To gain work experience in the veterinary field and at the same time find other affordable options to study veterinary medicine. If all else fails, I’ll use the time to find out more about other career options. As I have only ever imagined myself as a veterinarian and when reality hit me of how insanely expensive a veterinary medicine degree was, I knew I needed more time to figure things out and possibly be okay with a change in my career goal.

First full-time veterinary nursing job

February 2020, I started my first ever full-time job as a veterinary nurse in a small animal clinic. Honestly, really grateful for this clinic for accepting me as I had zero work experience and qualifications as a veterinary nurse.

Learnt a lot here and in my second veterinary nursing job (explained below!). It would be too much to explain in just this section alone. Hence, I’ve come up with the top 15 things I’ve learnt as a vet nurse, go have a read!

Exploring other career options and applying to other non-vet courses

While working as a veterinary nurse full-time, I was also trying to explore and see what other careers (animal-related or not) might interest me. Interned as a human clinic assistant, volunteered at horse stables and animal shelters, started volunteering with a boy on the autism spectrum, started tutoring…

I even applied to NTU’s traditional chinese medicine degree, NTU and NUS ’s biomedical engineering degrees. However, when I was offered a place at both universities, I could not imagine myself studying a degree not related to animals (repeating my gruelling A level experience again). Again, I rejected their offers…

Yes, you can say that I was indecisive and all over the place. Nonetheless, without these mistakes, I wouldn’t have been motivated to make a firm decision/plan eventually.

Passion developed

After exploring a few other jobs, I have to admit that I did like certain aspects of each job. However, nothing truly beats my love, devotion and sense of achievement when working with animals and learning about them. Especially in the area of veterinary medicine. This was when I realised that my goal has become a passion. Becoming a veterinarian was the best way, I believe, to fulfill my passion. Of course I know it’s not the ONLY way — being a vet nurse works too. But I was in no position to diagnose and come up with a treatment plan for patients and owners. Challenging but fun.

Applied to Australia and New Zealand veterinary schools

Towards the end of this gap year, I applied again to veterinary schools, this time, to Australia and New Zealand. Was offered a place at University of Queensland, University of Adelaide and Massey University.

Knowing that my family still could not afford the equally expensive half a million dollars education, I tried to seek alternative funding besides getting the competitive NParks scholarship. Like the university’s scholarships and bank loans. However, the partial scholarships could only cover a minuscule amount compared to half a million dollars required. And the amount that I could possibly loan from the bank could barely cover 1 year of studies.

Yet again, I had to turn down the offers from these veterinary schools…

Losing sight of my passion…

January 2020, this was when I thought.. maybe my goal and passion of wanting to become a veterinarian was indeed a dream after all.

If I couldn’t become a veterinarian, in terms of financial circumstances, then at least I should do something related to working with animals. I resigned from my veterinary nursing job, to have more time to explore other animal-related careers.

Applied for jobs as a horse groomer/handler and zookeeper. But only got a job offer from a horse groomer/handler. Due to the odd working hours and low income for survival, I was seriously reconsidering this option.

Giving my veterinary medicine ‘dream’ another shot

That was when I came across a conversation with an ex-colleague. She knew someone who’s currently studying veterinary medicine in South Africa. She linked me up with him and I asked him all my questions.

After finding out that he only found out about this veterinary school due to the close relationship of the veterinary clinic, where he used to work at, to a supplier in South Africa, I decided to give my veterinary medicine ‘dream’ another try — by working as a veterinary nurse again at this specific clinic. I thought, maybe I could find out more about this veterinary school which I’ve never heard about or know any Singaporean who has been through this course.

Moreover, this veterinary school in South Africa is accredited with the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons (RCVS) in the United Kingdom, and the Australasian Veterinary Boards Council (AVBC) in Australia and New Zealand — which will allow me to come back to Singapore to work as soon after graduation.

Applied to South Africa veterinary school but…

On 1st April 2021, I started my new full-time veterinary nursing job. Worked for a few months and applied to University of Pretoria, South Africa, in June 2021.

After a few months of eager waiting, I received a rejection letter. And after a couple more months of trying to understand why I had been rejected, in order to strengthen my application for next year, I decided to take up a specialist diploma in veterinary nursing.

Applied again

May 2022, with the specialist diploma, I applied to University of Pretoria again.

A rejection again…

More rejections… and giving up…

Researched on more affordable options, found out about Hong Kong’s CityU and veterinary schools in Malaysia and Philippines.

End May 2022, I applied to CityU’s veterinary school. Again, rejected, due to the really limited spots available and the intense competition as it was a really new course (the first batch of students have yet to graduate).

From May to August 2022, I applied to Malaysia and Philippines veterinary schools.

While researching on other options and applying to these veterinary schools, I was on the brink of giving up. My faith and hope was dwindling. However, instead of giving up completely and chasing another dream, I escaped. Planned for a solo trip and literally escaped from all my problems and challenges. For a 3 weeks trip to Vietnam — 2 weeks solo. It was a great break in order to face more rejections head on.

In September 2022, another rejection from Malaysia. And I could never find out why I was rejected as the school have not replied to my emails and did not answer any phone calls.

After a few months of back and forth emails with the veterinary school in Philippines trying to explain how my specialist diploma was just a part-time skills upgrading course and not a tertiary education qualification, again, in early December 2022, another rejection.

Another escape

After all the rejections, I felt like I was back to square one — lost and confused. Not quite ready to give up yet, I did another 1 week solo trip to Malaysia, Cameron Highlands. Another escape.

Coincidentally and somewhat magically, in this trip, I met a French who knows a friend who is studying in a veterinary school in Romania. Just when all hope was lost, a light started to shine and light a hidden path.

Finding out about USAMV-Cluj

She was studying at USAMV-Cluj. I knew about this vet school when researching affordable vet schools back in 2020. But I was afraid to take the step to apply and potentially start a new life in another country, alone, and so far away from home. Furthermore, as studying in Romania was almost unheard of in Singapore, my family and I was also concerned about safety. However, most of my fears, worries and doubts were alleviated after speaking to someone already in year 4 of a veterinary medicine degree programme in Romania.

I was also researching on other veterinary schools in EU and realised that this was the best option I’ve got. Other schools that taught in English were about the same cost or even more expensive than USAMV-Cluj. Schools that had free education or fully funded scholarships for foreign students required students to be fluent in their local language as the course will be fully taught in that language. Furthermore, I do not know anyone in any of the countries in EU, which could make application and transitioning there a lot more challenging.

Passion becoming a purpose

A firm decision

I decided, I will be furthering my studies by 2023, but I am not giving up on my passion, no matter what. This time, I gave myself options in approach but not options in the goal/passion. If plan A fails, then try plan B, then C, D, E…

First step: Apply to both local universities and USAMV-Cluj

Plan A: Get into USAMV-Cluj veterinary school and pull out of place in local uni (if even accepted in the first place)

(if rejected from USAMV-Cluj)

Plan B: Enter NUS chemical engineering, complete first year of chemical engineering and use my GPA to reapply to other veterinary schools

Plan C: Complete 4 years of NUS chemical engineering degree, work for a few years to save up money, do a post-grad in veterinary medicine

Plan D: Get a degree in chemical engineering and find a way to contribute to the veterinary field

(if rejected from all the above schools)

Plan E: Continue veterinary nursing job and become a certified veterinary nurse

Plan F: (not well-planned yet) Live life happily being involved in animal rescues and just being surrounded by animals every day. Maybe a zookeeper?

In February 2023, I applied and was offered a place at both NUS and NTU chemical engineering. Accepted and kept my place with NUS chemical engineering. In May 2023, I applied to University of Agricultural Sciences and Veterinary Medicine of Cluj-Napoca (USAMV-Cluj).

Discovered my purpose

Right after applying to USMAV-Cluj, I had a last escape. To find a deeper meaning to all that I’ve done and gone through. I didn’t want to be feeling lost and confused yet again after I’ve finally achieved my passion. To be honest, I was a little afraid of success after being so damn familiar with rejections and failures. What if I’ve actually got into vet school and think, “So what now?”

So I packed my bags and went for a 10 days Vipassana Meditation course. It has been nothing short of amazing and life-changing. Through this meditation experience and lots of journaling, I’ve discovered what lies deeper than my passion — my purpose: a commitment to lovingly ensure the health and well-being of animals through veterinary medicine and maintain a healthy and balanced human-animal bond.

Passion VS Purpose

Passion is a strong liking, desire and devotion to a goal. It’s mainly personal and intrinsic. Why I say ‘mainly’ is because a little part of it can come from external validation. Gaining respect, praise and assurance from others are some ways it’ll boost our desire for a goal. For me, growing up knowing what I wanted was seen as an exceptional trait by the older generation — people whom I respect and love. Becoming a veterinarian was almost apart of my identity. Thus, I didn’t want to disappoint them by ever changing my dream, goal or passion. And of course, personally, I have always been deeply fond of animals.

On the other hand, purpose is an abiding intention to achieve a long-term goal that is both personally meaningful and makes a positive impact on the world. It’s both personal and extrinsic.

Through this course, I was made aware of this difference. The desire for external validation was shrunken to a minuscule amount. Instead, love and compassion expanded in my heart, mind and body. Lightness, peace and harmony ensued.

Finally a veterinary medicine student

July 2023… I was offered a place at USAMV-Cluj! For the next 6 years, this is where I will call home.

Who knew it’ll take me not 1, 2, or 3 years, but close to 4 gap years to finally be a vet student. 2 veterinary nursing jobs, 4 years, 13 different veterinary schools, 14 veterinary school applications, 17 university applications… I finally know what the heck I was doing — practicing grit. Passion and perseverance. With it, grew my purpose.

This marks the end of this bittersweet chapter of my life. And entering into the next chapter of my life with so much more love, courage and grit.