After writing a blog on ‘How to Start Taking Action‘, I decided to write this blog as I personally struggled (am still struggling-ish at this very moment of writing as I am still tweaking my methods to form a firm habit) with this bad habit. Thus, this became the first habit I permanently want to change after reading the book ‘Stick with It” by Dr Sean.
Looking around us, we see the majority of people with their eyes glued on their screens, barely noticing the wonders around them. Why is this so? Our phones offer an infinite number of distractions. Buzz, dings and pings, we are on our tippy toes waiting for a notification to excite us. Once we hear it or feel its vibrations, we crave the unknown contents of the notification or the affirmation of likes and comments. We try to put our phones away, only to be distracted by the constant and random notifications.
Below are the definite steps to take to finally get rid of your phone addiction. Only when you take action, you would be able to build good habits and live the life that you want.
Define your usage.
List down what exactly you use your phone for. From important needs to leisure, list down everything to the details.
Next, create a table separating the important and leisure activities/tasks. Write down the app which you use for each of the activities. Also, include the actual usage time of the activities. Be honest with yourself by tracking the time using appropriate apps. For iPhone users, it would be pretty easy. Go to the settings, search for screen time, tap on ‘See All Activity’, scroll down and tap ‘Show More’ to see all the apps, click on each of them to see the usage time. For Android users, you may need to download some apps to track your initial screen time for the apps. I recommend OFFTIME, QualityTime or Forest. You can use the same app to later, set hurdles, reminders or restrict access to any apps that you find distracting.
Lastly, using your chosen app tracker, decide and set the frequency you intend to use the different apps for or the time per week/day you intend to use it for. This last step might be a difficult one as you are unsure exactly how much time you should allocate. Which makes it all the more fun and exciting! If it’s difficult, it doesn’t mean you should quit, right? It will be an experiment and lots of trial and error along the way. You have to try different frequencies and usage times to find out what best suits you and give you the best productive use of your time. It is not a once off kind of step, you have to adjust to your needs, by experimenting!
Below is an example of the table I’ve created for myself on Google Sheets. The ‘eliminated from phone’ section will be explained in “Make it easy, eliminate it” section.
Write down the importance of getting rid of this habit.
When something is of importance, you will naturally be more inclined to do it. Having willpower or motivation is really a myth. The real reason why people stick to a habit or complete a specific task is because they find importance for it, be it for friends, family or themselves. Define your importance and remind yourself daily of that importance. Write it on a piece of paper. Place it anywhere visible, beside your bed or on your door. Read it aloud, memorise it.
My importance:
Getting rid of my excessive phone usage for a more controlled usage is imperative for me to be focused to achieve all of my dreams and goals, to lead a more fulfilled, productive and present life.
Make it easy, eliminate it.
Go through your list in ‘Define’, eliminate those which can be transferred to other devices such as your laptop. Eliminate the most distracting apps from your phone. Transfer them over to your desktop. This makes it easier for you to fight your burning urge to use these apps when they are so readily clickable on your hand-held phone, which you bring almost everywhere you go.
I decided to transfer Instagram and Youtube to a different phone. One of my phones will be my ‘important’ phone while the other will be my ‘leisure’ phone. It is such that I am better able to get in my different modes of focus. It clearly separates important and urgent use from leisure. It not only allows me to focus on important tasks, when watching youtube, I would not be disturbed by messages from work which might affect my leisure mood. I believe that there is a time and place for everything, even our leisure and play time, should be scheduled. This allows us to fully immerse in the exact thing that we scheduled for.
Eliminate those that can be transferred to pen and paper. For example, I transferred the tracking of my cash spending from my phone’s notes directly to my physical financial journal which tracks all of my monthly spendings. I’ll transfer them, once a month, into an excel sheet.
Turn off all notifications from the apps in your phone and laptop, especially those from leisure and messaging apps. There is a time and place for everything. Notifications will only distract you from your intended scheduled task. The only notification allowed should be from phone calls.
Set rules. Keep your phone out of sight and out of mind, other than its scheduled usage time. Set a fixed time to switch your phone on or off. I recommend only switching on your phone in the afternoon so that your focus or mood in the morning would not be disturbed by unnecessary messages or emails. Schedule time of each usage using the apps mentioned above, under define your usage.
Take small steps.
Make use of stepladders to reach your dreams. It will be less intimidating or more reachable than you think. The stepladder approach requires you to define your dreams, goals and steps. Dreams take at least 3 months or more to reach. Long term goals take 1 month, short term goals take 1 week to complete. A step should be easy to complete in the next few hours to 2 days max. Create at least 3-5 steps to reach a short term goal, continue adding steps to finally reach your goals. Once your goals are completed, continue tweaking or adding goals to reach your dreams!
Below is how I define my dreams, goals and steps.
— Dream —
Leading a productive, fulfilled and exciting life, never feeling like you are working, saying yes on most days to the question of, “If this is the last day of your life, would you be doing what you will be doing today?” (1 year dream, to be accomplished by end December 2022)
— Goals —
Have a well-set up system to get rid of my burning urge to use my phone, and share with people my plan. (1 week short term goal)
Use the system for 4 weeks straight, to have very controlled phone usage by end December 2021. (1 month long-term goal)
— Steps —
- Block 2 hours of my time in my schedule to create my phone usage table. (steps to create is in define and eliminate sections above)
- Write the importance of creating this habit on a piece of paper and place it beside my bed. This is to make it easy for me to look at the paper and remind myself to read the words out loud daily.
- Use an analogue alarm clock instead of the alarm clock in my phone.
- Uninstall unnecessary apps on my phone.
- Download OFFTIME and set each apps’ restricted usage time.
Trick your mind. Use neurohack.
Many people believe that when you change your mindset, you would be able to change your behaviour and create habits. However, it is found that the opposite is true. When you change your behaviour and take action, your mind will follow. You are basically psyching your mind to believe that you are who you want to be, by first doing it.
- Sharing with people how you are able to be more productive with controlled phone usage. Share with others your techniques. This holds you accountable and reinforces your techniques and habits.
- When you feel a burning urge to reach out and get your phone, close your eyes and take a breath, remind yourself of your identity as a self-disciplined and productive person who is stronger than your burning urges to use your phone.
- Tell yourself that the task which you are doing is more exciting, fulfilling and fun than the use of your phone.
Incorporate captivating rewards.
To make a reward captivating, it has to be exciting and important to you. It has to be as strong as your burning urge to reach out to your phone to use a particular app.
Using Forest to control your phone usage may be captivating to some people. You can plant a seed in Forest. This seed will gradually grow into a tree. However, if you give in to your burning urge to leave this app to check Instagram or play a game, your tree will wither away. With this captivating mechanism, the sense of achievement and responsibility will captivate you to stay away from your phone with no pain.
Making small steps and progressing towards your goal can be captivating. The main point is that you have to make the reward intrinsically captivating.
For me, the very act of creating this challenge of getting rid of my phone addiction and sharing online already feels captivating to me. The thought of sharing with my friends how I got rid of my phone ‘addiction’ feels satisfying as I am able to help someone with a similar problem. I am excited to see where I will be in 1 week to 1 month, with regards to breaking this bad habit. This is in contrast to an extrinsic reward when I want people to feel a certain way about me or that I hope for a particular praise from someone to feel good about myself.
Engrain.
Repeat, repeat and repeat. The key to breaking an old, bad habit, and developing a new, good habit is to REPEAT. Just like brushing your teeth, you never contemplate whether you should do it, you just do it, EVERYDAY. Of course, besides repeating, you have to reflect and tweak the habit to suit your needs. There is no one size fits all routine. Experiment, challenge yourself and do not give up.
As I am writing this blog post, I am still in the middle of refining this habit, getting used to applications that are helpful to restrict my screen time and finding the right balance for my leisure time. It takes time but I see it as a step closer to where I want to be.
Things to note:
Forming a habit and sticking to it is not a once off thing. It is not something in which once you reach the goal and dream, you have accomplished it. There is no ‘end’ to a habit. Think long term. Think forever. You are only allowed to tweak your habit as your circumstances change, but your main habit remains forever. This is the secret to sticking to the habit. This is why many people, including myself, would break a habit because we have ‘reached’ the goal. We stop eating healthy because we reach our ideal weight. However, the real change comes when we really see habit as a lifelong change.
Even for myself, I am still trying out different methods to find the right one that I will stick to. Do not give up, this is the most important part of forming a habit. Keep experimenting!
A habit is something which you do not need to think about, it’s almost an unconscious behaviour. You would not need to think whether you should do it or not, you just do it, it is part of your routine and your habit. If you don’t do it, you feel that something is off, you don’t feel yourself.
References:
Blog: https://www.geckoandfly.com/23509/smartphone-addiction-boost-productivity/
Book: Stick with it by Dr Sean Young