- 5 Vietnamese Cultures to Appreciate and Practise
There’s always a lot to learn when you’re out of your own country. One of my biggest takeaways from my Vietnam trip was the appreciation and practice of their cultures!
Things changed… And I’ve learnt to be more appreciative
One of the best things I’ve done this year was visiting my family in Vietnam after a good 8 years. The experience here has been nothing short of amazing. Just a week here reminded me of many of my favourite childhood memories such as motorbike rides and drinking iced milk coffee by the streets.
Many things can change in 8 years, especially when you are growing up from a 13 year old teen to a 21 year old adult! Nonetheless, if not for these changes, I wouldn’t be any more appreciative of my experiences during this trip. 8 years ago, the 13 year old me would just follow my mum everywhere, having no idea where I was and what I could learn or do there.
However, this time, going back to Vietnam felt all novel again. Exploring district one with just my little cousins, visiting museums and historical sites, drinking iced black Vietnamese coffee and buying medications… These were simple but such novel experiences for me.
1. Family comes first and is the most precious.
One of the first things I’ve noticed is how family-oriented the Vietnamese people are. Cooking and eating together is one of their favourite activities. They are always eating or snacking but they’re all still in such healthy shapes! Whenever I walk past houses and the streets in Saigon, I would see families, young and old, come together to cook, have a meal, sing karaoke or just relax together. Gadgets and phones wouldn’t be around when it’s family time or time to wind down after a long day out. Whereas in Singapore, people tend to eat out and they would have their eyes glued on the phone screen most of the time!
For my family in Vietnam, the older would do the cooking, the young would help with the preparing of ingredients and washing up afterwards. Laundry and household chores are mostly done by the children. During my 1 week here, I found out something quite unique about my Vietnamese family’s culture!
Before bedtime, the young would come to their parent’s room to give their mother massages. I used to give my mum massages in Singapore when I was younger just thinking it’s just because she loves it. Knowing my cousins do it too, I genuinely thought that the massaging culture was a culture for most of the families in Vietnam but I thought wrong. My cousin said his schoolmates don’t do it and it’s just a family tradition. That was some enlightening moment of realisation. It was heartening to know of this unique family tradition of mine – definitely something I would restart doing when I’m back in Singapore.
2. It’s okay to be bored.
It’s 2pm in the afternoon, you’ve eaten lunch and your afternoon meeting is cancelled. What would you do? Instead of glueing their eyes on the screen, the Vietnamese would drink tea, watch a television show with their family members, talk with their neighbours, or just nap. Being bored isn’t judged here, and actually it’s neither judged in Singapore. We, Singaporeans, tend to judge ourselves. We live such a fast paced life that we forget the true feeling of being bored. Excluding the time you’ve tried to fill your time with gadgets…
When was the last time you’ve actually felt bored AND relaxed?
One afternoon after lunch, I was invited to lie on a hammock leisurely. With the chilly weather and calm atmosphere, I eventually fell asleep. After that short nap, I realised I haven’t taken an unintentional nap in a long time, which made me appreciate that experience a little more.
Another experience I had was with a homestay at Tam Coc. After coming back from a long day out,I was invited to join the family for some tea. It was about 9pm at night. We had a nice chat over some hot tea, until it was 10pm. If I was at home in Singapore, I would have just gone into my room to use my phone and catch up on social media or youtube. This made me realise the many pockets of time in the day I’ve missed spending with my family – all the times I’ve taken out my phone to ‘rest’.
Next time you’re bored, have tea with someone or yourself, have a stroll close to nature, stargaze, meditate or nap. Your mind and body will thank you for that. For giving them the break they need to be happier, healthier and recharged for their next productive and creative run.
3. It’s okay to wait, being patient and tolerant will not hurt anyone.
My mum, my cousin’s mum and I were at a hair, facial and massage place and there was just 1 person manning it. Three of us were in the queue and one more person came in a little while after us. When the last lady was told that she had to wait for the 3 of us to be done before her turn, she just casually said, “No problem.” While waiting, she just chatted with us. Next time I have to wait, initiating a chat with someone would be my first option!
Phones and gadgets are rarely the first thing they do when they are waiting. They would rather chat with others, be it strangers they’ve just met. We Singaporeans may not be used to this but I really believe that you can always learn something from anyone. Who knows where the conversation may bring you!
Even staring out or looking at your surroundings is a great alternative to staring at your phone screen. Just give your eyes a break! There are actually many things going on around you that you’d miss if you keep staring down at your phone! Witnessing an act of kindness, a funny situation and admiring the beautiful views can all spark something in you.
4. Food brings people together.
Food can be seen anywhere and everywhere you go in Vietnam. On the streets, by the road, at people’s houses, there are always people selling or sharing food.
The Vietnamese people love cooking and sharing their food. Home-cooked meals are commonplace. With my family in Saigon, I never had a day when I didn’t eat at home. With excess food, they’ll be sharing with their neighbours.
Nothing beats a nice home-cooked or baked meal – it’s just lovely. I personally enjoy anything homemade because it’s just unique as it is, it can never be bought outside. And it took the person who made it some time, effort and love to make it. Sharing a meal starts and keeps the conversation going. As the saying goes, no one has ever become poor by giving.
5. Happiness is your choice.
Being surrounded by Vietnamese people always feels great – they’re carefree, relaxed and happy. The atmosphere and energy they give off most of the time is lively. That’s almost a world apart from Singapore where we are in a rush most of the time.
Throughout my 3 weeks trip (with my family and going solo), I’ve asked more than 10 random people if they are happy. None of them have said they are not. Most of them have a simple life, but they are happy with what they have. Unlike us Singaporeans, we are always seeking for more that we forget to live in the present. I’m not saying that wanting more and improving is bad, it’s forgetting to appreciate the journey that’s a pity.
So, what is their secret to always being so happy?
It’s the difference in belief. The Vietnamese people believe that there’s always a way out. They believe in simplicity. There are many outlets to destress and unwind, such as eating and drinking, talking to people, singing karaoke and going for massages. To them, there’s really no need to be upset or stressed when there’s so many things they could do! If they want to do anything, they’ll just do it. If it takes time, it takes time, they won’t stress over the fact that it takes time.
They made me realise that being happy is really a choice. But of course, you would have to take action. You can’t just sit there and expect to be happy. Or you don’t just wake up telling yourself that today you will be happy then you’ll be happy. Do things that lift your spirits, that are rewarding and fulfilling. Sometimes, you may not be happy in the moment but you may feel rewarded after you’ve completed the task!
All in all
This trip has really enlightened me of the beauties and wonders of travelling. Being in that country, experiencing its cultures, learning about its history has left me feeling a rollercoaster of emotions. It has given me a new perspective on life which I cannot fully explain here unless I get you to experience it yourself.
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